Time To Fly
by evidently-emily
Summary: After a long absense, Ryan's exgirlfriend and childhood friend Jac comes back with some news that will change both of their lives. [p!atd & ryanxjac.]
1. Chapter 1

**Dedicated to Jen. **

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**Chapter one ; Ryan.**_  
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_we could ride, we could ride._

_take my hand and watch the world go by._

_Laugh or cry, well we need to try, get off the line, time to fly._

"Nice show, Ross." Brendon tossed me a water bottle as we sat back stage in our dressing rooms, our faces and necks coated with sweat. We had just finished our Chicago show, which was a huge hit. I had never been a big fan of drugs and alcohol and all that stuff, but man. Being up there and feeling the crowd go wild once we stepped foot on the stage...that's about the best high anyone could ever get. I smirked, leaning back in my chair and propping my feet up on the desk. "Same goes to you, Urie."

Jon and Spencer had already taken off, the last time I saw them they were leaving with at least two groupies on each arm. Brendon looked so sexy with his hair pressed against his forehead, leaning against the wall and taking huge gulps of water. I swallowed, a smirk still plastered on my face. "So. Where to after this then?" I asked, yawning slightly. "Well...the hotel?" Brendon smirked back. I felt my body tense up at the thought, and I had to take a few moments to regain composure.

"No, dipshit," I rolled my eyes. "I mean what city?" I asked, yawning and flexing my feet, stretching my arms out and hearing the satisfying sound of my bones cracking. "Mmm, oh that." Brendon smirked, and I watched as he slowly, slyly, inched towards the door and quickly shut it, his fingers slyly gliding over the doorknob. He smirked, and then began to walk towards me.

This wasn't anything new. Brendon and I had been doing this for at least the last ten shows. We'd play an awesome gig, wait till the guys started to pack stuff up and for Spencer and Jon to leave, we'd fool around in the dressing room and retreat back to the hotel. It wasn't like we were lovers or anything. I think that we were just two lonely guys who had some kind of lust/friendship relationship going on.

Brendon grabbed my arm and pressed me against the wall, the smell of him wafted through the air and into my nostrils, causing me to tense up. I sighed deeply, my hands clutching the side of the wall. He loved to tease, he was a tease. His lips were slowly, delicately traveling across my chin, sending my stomach into butterflies. His lips landed on my neck, his hands finding their way to embrace my hips.

God dammit. He knew how to get me.

I had baited breath as his hands began to work on my belt, my eyes clamped shut with anticipation. I started to hear screams from coming outside, and at first I tried to ignore it. "Baby...just ignore it, c'mon." Brendon murmured, on his knees now. I shrugged it off, probably just some insane groupie. We got a lot of those, and it was definitely nothing that should interrupt Brendon and I's err, quality time.

"I'm sorry, miss. But this is a restricted area, you either have to be with the band or have a pass." I heard one of the security guards tell the supossed girl outside. "No!" The girl's voice rose, and I swore I knew it from somewhere. I tried to hear the conversation and focus on the fact that Brendon's hands were in a place that made it hard to think at all. "I don't think you understand, I need to see Ryan!" The girl's voice was loud and intense.

"Miss, no you can't go in there--" The security guard said, just as Brendon tugged down on my boxers. And in a matter of moments, the door to my dressing room flung open. The site was almost comical, there was me, half naked. The security guards had their arms around this girl, trying to pull her away. Brendon gasped, standing up and looking like he had just lost all of the color in his face.

"Ryan." The voice spoke. I bent over, pulling up my boxers and quickly trying to cover up what Brendon and I were about to. I looked up, expecting to see some crazy fan girl half naked, asking me to sign her boobs. But then I saw that face.

It was her. She had come back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, **

**No one's been reading this story yet. And if they have, I haven't gotten any reviews. xD This chapter is dedicated to my friend Emily who made a banner for the story that I still have to add.**

**-Emily (tohru02)**

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"Y-you're back." My voice was wavering, repeating it as if saying it once more would help me to understand what in the world she was doing here. "Yes, I am." She said, pulling away from the security guards but failing. "Now can you get your little goonies off of me, now?" She snarled. Fierce. Just like she had left. "Guys…do you think you could give Jac and I a little alone time?" I asked. Brendon shot me a look of confusion, clearing his throat and following the security guys out, closing the door behind him.

"So we meet again. This is really a lovely dressing room, my dear. Much nicer than the ones you used to get." She said, doing a twirl around the room, examining before flopping down on the chair. "Jac. Stop making small talk." My excitement from Brendon was now dead, and I was stiff, confused, scared. "Right, I guess I am being just a tad bit unfair, aren't I?" She asked, looking me straight in the eye.

"Just a little." I said sarcastically. You didn't date someone for almost five years, and then get up and disappear with out so much of a phone call or an e-mail or anything. "Listen, Ryan." Jac sighed, sitting against the chair, looking down at the ground and then into my eyes. "I made a mistake. A huge one." She murmured. "Like hell you did!" I snapped back, not stopping to regain composure.

Silence. I had made it awkward, but not as awkward as her sudden appearance. "Ryan…baby…don't do this." She breathed, looking into my eyes. I was silently begging her to stop. Those eyes, those chocolate brown, passion filled eyes. The ones that I looked into on a daily basis, woke up to every morning, the last thing I saw before I fell asleep at night for five years. All of the memories, the curling up in one of the microscopic-ly tiny tour bus beds, kissing, hands roaming, holding hands. She had just got up and left, and left all of those memories here.

"No, Jac," I said, turning away. I wanted to give in so badly, I wanted to just reach out and pull her into my grasp again. But it wasn't that easy, nothing was ever 'that easy.' It was complicated, too complicated. "You…you left me. You can't come back here and ask for forgiveness. You don't get it, Jac. You hurt me. Badly. I don't want to see you again." I said.

The words were hurtful and untrue, but I wanted them to be true. I didn't want to see her again, I didn't want to want to see her again. I wish that just by looking her over, I could go insane, wanting to hold her and kiss her and be with her. "Ryan, that's not true." Her voice, usually fierce and full of power, sounded weak. For the full five years that I had dated Jac, she had never sounded this weak. She was a strong willed girl with a fierce personality, and she had always been the one with the balls in our relationship while I sat back and let her make the decisions.

I had been played, I had been told I had been played. When she left, it was raining. I remember that for a fact. We had known each other since we were kids, and our parents had been college room-mates and had introduced us. We had played together as kids when we were younger, when our parents made us, but made no extra attempt to play after that. When we got older we sometimes talked on AIM. We went to different schools, me to the public school and her to some private school. As the years progressed, I invited her to come hang out with my friends and she invited me to come hang out with her friends. We started dating when we were 14-years-old.

Our parents thought it was cute, but no one took us seriously. Jac was an amazing artist, and especially a photographer. She was a rebel, though, and stuck out like a sore thumb at her school. I helped her when she was suffering with drug problems. I occupied her every way I could so she could keep her mind off of vodka. I did everything I could. I encouraged her to get better, and with my help, she did. I know that everyone else does, but I don't think she understands how badly she would be fucked up, if not dead, with out my help.

"Why did you come back, Jac?" I finally questioned, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer. She sat in silence for a few moments. "I—I can't tell you yet, Ryan." She said, her voice shaking. She wanted money. I knew it. This was just like her, milking every one of her friends and family for her benefit, and then throwing them into the trash. She had stuck around long enough to fill her needs, sexually and emotionally, and of course for her art career to take off, and then she had left.

I hated her, I loved her, I hated her. Why couldn't my mind just make itself up already? Standing here, watching her, it was sending me into a fit of different emotions. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to slap her. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to push her away. I wanted her in my life so badly, and at the same time I wanted her out of it more. I was going to explode, I felt it.

"You can't tell me?! Then why the fuck are you here? Listen, Jac." I spat, my voice was shaking and I felt my whole body running on anger. "I'm not giving you fucking money. You can go out and earn it yourself." I hissed. A look of hurt spread across her angelic features and I felt my body loosen up. What had I done? Tears filled her eyes, gently trickling down her cheeks.

"Ryan…how could you even think that that's why I'm back?" She asked. I blinked, so she wasn't here for money? I sighed. "I…I didn't mean to upset you, Jac. You don't understand how badly this is effecting me." I grumbled, my voice barely audible but she managed to hear me. "You want to know why I'm back, then." She repeated after a few moments of silence. I held back any remarks, and through gritted teeth, I replied, "Yes."

"Well then." She stood up, wiping her tears with her palms. "Follow me." She took hold of my wrist, and I had to balance myself. My head was spinning as her grasp led me out the back door. There were still sound guys loading equipment, and I walked out, following her. She brought me to her car, the familiar car that we had spent so many times fooling around in. Just by hearing her unlock it, a flood of memories was brought back to me.

She took out a boy, who looked to be about a year old with caramel like hair which was a shade lighter than mine and pale blue eyes. He was clinging to Jac, and I looked, dumbfounded. "Ryan…meet Peter." 


	3. Chapter 3

"You had a kid?" I blurted out. Jac looked up at me, the boy looking up aswell. "Is that really daddy?!" Peter asked. My face turned to stone, and I shot a look at Jac. "Eh…um…is there a place that we can put him?" Jac asked, her face turning a rosy color, a blush. "Uh, sure." It was my turn to lead Jac somewhere, and with Peter clinging to her, we boarded the tour bus where the band was.

"'Ey, Ryan. Did you tell the bitch I said hi?" Brendon asked, trying to make a joke as we boarded. I passed by Brendon, shooting him a look that said 'shut up.' "Bitch says hello." Jac snarled back, setting Peter down. "You can just set him anywhere." I shrugged, and Jac hoisted Peter on a couch next to Brendon, who looked at the child like he was a tub of toxic waste.

I led Jac into the small bathroom, the only place where we could privacy. I shut the door behind her, looking at her dumbfounded. We were crowded into the bathroom, but the feeling of being by her was sending shivers down my spine. We hadn't been this close in so long. "Explain." I finally choked out. I was still searching for words, which was hard to do between the fact that I was so close to her and the fact that this two year old boy had claimed me his father and my ex-girlfriend had suddenly re-appeared…all in one night.

There was silence, and I was beginning to feel hot and stuffy and flustered and out of my mind. I wanted answers, and by Jac just standing their like a dipshit was really making me angry. She owed me big time answers, and I was trying so hard not to come up with reasons why she would be here, now. She had already said it wasn't money, and I knew that it involved a kid. "Jac…just tell me." I said, sighing and letting my tone of voice be a bit less angry.

"When I found out I was pregnant I left." She said, and I knew that she really didn't have to start her explanation any time before that. I blinked, pregnant. I had gotten her pregnant? But we had always been so careful, we had always made sure that we were protected in some way. "You guys were hitting it big. I wasn't fit to be a mom, Ryan. Neither were you to be a dad, I knew that it would do none of us good. A tour bus is no place for a child to grow up around, and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to spend the rest of my teenage life being a mother on a tour bus." She spoke, her voice almost hushed.

I was so confused. We used to sometimes talk about the future when we were laying in bed together, just holding each other. One time we did it when we were both drunk and I remember Jac saying that she wanted a lawn that was purple with pink polka-dots and a four story home with the first floor being a water park and a shopping plaza. She said that she wanted four thousand and sixty two children. We were going to have three dogs and a hamster, Peanut, Garbanzo, Ballin', and Rossio.

We had had a good laugh about that, but our plans about the future, now that I think about it, never really got more serious than that. I looked into her eyes, and realized that she was right. "So Peter he's…he's mine?" I asked, my voice cracking.  
"Yes." Jac said, and I knew that she probably could've used that "Duh" tone of voice that she sometimes used with me, but she didn't.

I ruffled my hand through my brown locks looking into her eyes and shaking my head. "You've got to be kidding me." I sighed. We were a big band, we were famous. I couldn't handle a kid.

"I'm not kidding." Jac said, her voice stony and lifeless. "He…no…he can't. I'm sure that he's some one else's. I mean, come on, Jac." I rubbed the nape of my neck, trying to get out of this any way I could. I didn't want this kid to be mine, I hoped he wasn't.

"Ryan!" She stamped her foot down, just missing my foot and I winced at the thought of those heels stomping my foot.

"You know fuckin' well that you're my only!" She said, looking into my eyes, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes full of rage. Her lips were pressed into a firm, tight stance which just added to the fierceness of the glare. Just by the way she was directing it at me. I knew that quite well, and I think I had just said it just to make sure that she hadn't been screwing any boys while I was away.

"I…I can't talk about this now." I started to turn towards the door. "Take the kid and leave." I said, and once it had left my mouth, I knew that I didn't really want that. I would love for Peter and Jac to stay, but I knew that it wasn't fair for them or me to have them with us.

"No, Ryan!" Jac grabbed me by the arm and practically threw me back to where I was standing.

"Why not?" I asked, looking up at her.

"Because, Ryan," She shook her head, a sigh escaping her lips. "I can't do this. I can't do this alone, I need you. Peter needs you in his life, he needs to know his father." She said, knowing quite well that her words were hitting it right where it hurt. I came from a dysfunctional family with loads of problems. My father was an alcoholic and he abused my mother and my siblings and even sometimes me, and he's currently in rehab. He's made my life hell since the day I was born.

"So. I guess you want to stay here then." I said, sighing. What was I getting myself into. "Please, Ryan. I'm begging you." She said, I looked into her eyes and realized that she was truly being sincere.

"Fine." I sighed. "You can stay." Knowing quite well that those words were going to come and haunt me in my sleep.

"Oh, Ryan, thank you!" She threw her arms around me and showered me with kisses. I froze, not showing any emotion back. I peeled her arms out of me, stepping out of the bathroom. Brendon, Jon, and Spencer were both staring at the little boy who was staring right now. I plopped down, Jac walking out and I guess gathering some things from her car. "Who is this?" Brendon asked, raising an eyebrow. "My son." I replied, rolling my eyes, knowing that they would never believe me.

"Okay then." Brendon replied.


	4. Chapter 4

It was about two in the morning now, and Jac was tucked into the extra bed that we had, Peter sleeping at her side. If it wasn't for the occasional sound of her turning in the bed, then we wouldn't have even known that she was there. The door was closed, but we were still whispering. "Seriously, Ryan." Brendon hissed, Jon and Spencer were still playing video games, which was louder than us talking, but he still whispered. "Who was that kid? And why's Jac here?" He asked.

I sighed, tilting my head back and taking a few large gulps of pepsi. "That kid's my kid. I wasn't fucking with you." I said. I had never lied to Brendon before, except for once. It had been a few nights ago, when we were fooling around in the hotel. We had been laying there, and Brendon had leaned over and kissed my lips ever so softly, and had whispered in my ear, I love you.

When someone says I love you, there's usually one appropriate answer. I love you too. But, what if you did love the person back, but not as the way that they thought you did? I had whispered I love you too, but I knew that I didn't mean it. I had slept with a lot of people, but I had only loved one person. One girl. Jac Vanek. My girlfriend. Or I guess she was my ex-girlfriend, wasn't she? I didn't understand, I mean, I knew why she had left, it did make some sense to me. But, she could've at least called, or something. Not left me hanging.

"Holy shit, man." Brendon blinked, looking at me from across the room. I rolled my eyes. What supportive friends I had. I knew that I didn't have to be in this for life. I could have Jac and Peter on the tour for the two months longer that it lasted, and then Jac and I could find out what to do with each other. I mean, as of right now, I had no intention of getting back with her, and she had no intention of getting back with me. But, two months could do a lot to a relationship.

"Thanks for the support." I rolled my eyes, checking the clock.. "You guys are insane, you know we have a sound check in Las Vegas tomorrow at eleven in the morning?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows. It was nearing one in the morning, and usually we were all passed out by twelve thirty. Brendon shrugged, and I decided to leave them. If we had to cancel one of our biggest shows because these lazy asses couldn't get out of bed, then so be it.

The next morning, I yawned, stretched and got out of my bed. The tour bus was sort of cramped, but it would do. There was one big bedroom with three pairs of bunk beds, and usually the third was for whoever we had with us, if anyone. Thankfully, Jac could sleep there because at the moment none of us had any girlfriends or important friends other than each other to tote around.

I came out of the bedroom to see that everyone was already awake. Brendon, Jon, and Spencer were eating a bowl of Fruit Loops, which I guessed to be about their third bowl. A pile of candy was in the center and each of them had a glass of Hawiian Punch. I sat down, smiling at my bandmates and seeing Peter out of the corner of my eye, laying down on the couch, confused and looking out the window. "'Morning. I've got my special for you, my friend." Jon smiled, pushing a bowl of Fruit Loops with gummy worms and extra sugar in my direction. I licked my lips, smiling.

"This is a disgrace!" Jac said, turning around, her arms full of our take out boxes from all different types of restaurants. "What is?" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrow. "This!" Jac said, gesturing to the food in her hands. "What's wrong with it?" Brendon asked, and I could hear that tone in his voice. His defensive tone. Oh shit. I was not going to let them get into a brawl before I had my coffee and fruit loops.

"This is all shit. Where is the vegetables? The protein? Do you have anything organic in this place?" Jac asked, her voice frantic. I stifled a laugh under my breath, former chubby Jac, sugar-obsessed Jac, was now a health freak? What had becoming a mother done to her? I heard her next words and we all looked up from our cereal, exchanged a look, and laughed.

"That is not funny!" Jac persisted, stuffing the take out boxes into a garbage bag and frowning, hands on her hips. "Look." She walked to the table, setting down the garbage bag and picking up the box of fruit loops. "This is a crappy breakfast. It has no protein, no fiber, nothing. It's pure sugar!" Jac was interrupted by Jon holding up the sugar bowl.

"I don't mean to correct you, ma'am." Jon rolled his eyes, smirking with a sarcastic done in his voice. "But this is pure sugar." Jon said, smirking still and exchanging a look with Brendon and Spencer. I blinked, he was gonna do something to send Jac over the edge. I remembered that look, he had used it all the time before he was going to do something to really piss off Jac when we were going out.

"And chill the fuck out, man. We like it. Everyone loves sugar. Look, come here, kid." Jon said, gesturing towards Peter to come over. Peter turned, hearing a mention of 'kid.' "Me?" His soft voice was barely audible but Jon managed to hear it. Jac watched in horror as Jon dumped some of the sugar into a teaspoon. "Here. Eat this." Jon said, shoving the spoon into Peter's mouth, and watching as Peter licked the spoon clean.

"You bastard! That is not nutritional!" Jac gasped. I rolled my eyes, this was getting retarded. "Listen, lady." Brendon said, leaning back in his chair, putting the bowl in his lap and his feet up on the table. "This is how we eat on the party bus. You got a problem with it, then go out and buy your own organic shit. But for now, we eat our sugar. Got it?" He asked, waving his spoon at her.

I turned to see the I'm-Going-To-Kick-Your-Ass look on Jac's face and I grabbed my bowl, returning to my bedroom and slamming the door before I could get in the way of Jac kicking Brendon's ass.


	5. Chapter 5

"Guys, the crowd is _fucking huge._" Spencer breathed as we stood back stage. Jac was back there, a bit silent. She had an intimidated look on her face, but I knew that she just felt a little out of place. Our sound guys were giving her weird looks, and I think that some of them even remembered her from our former tours. She used to be the life of the party, and everyone loved her. She would bring Oreos to us after the show, and even though I loved her, Jon, Spencer, and Brendon used to _hate _her. And they still do.

We had played a ton of huge shows, but I mean come on, when does seeing at least a thousand people screaming your name in anticipation just to hear you play…when does that get old? I sighed, finishing polishing the fender guitar that I was using for that performance. "Hi Daddy." The voice said, and I looked up to see Peter. "Uh. Hi." I said, realizing that this was the first time that I had ever had him talk to me.

"What are you doing?" Peter asked, and I had to have him repeat that statement a few times just to be able to hear him. What a quiet voice. I knew that with me and Jac for the parents, it was probably impossible for our off spring to be quiet. "I'm getting ready for a show." I said, hoping that the kid would get the picture and leave as I stood up, slinging the guitar on.

"Where's your mother?" I asked, looking down at the boy. Peter. He was my kid. It was so weird, that I had to direct my glance somewhere else for a few moments before looking down at him. Peter shrugged. "I don't know. What's out there?" He asked, pointing to the stage curtains. "It's nothing, but listen, you really have to go to your mom. Where do you think she is?"

"Five minutes till show time, guys! Five minutes!" A sound guy told us all and I watched as my band members began to find their way onto the stage. I sighed, finding a sound guy. "Listen, Bob." I said, reaching out my hand to his shoulder. The guy raised his eyebrow. "I need a favor." I said, looking to Peter. The guy blinked. "I'm Ted, and I can't help you right now. Sorry, Ryan." He said, shrugging off my hand and leaving.

I growled under my breath, finding a different sound guy. I thought hard as I stopped him, trying to remember his name. "Sam?" I asked, hopefully remembering this sound guy's name. "That's me. What can I do for you?" He asked. I said a small prayer of thanks inside my head to God for getting me off the hook. "It's five minutes till show time and I have to go and I can't find this kid's mom. Can you look after him?" I asked.

I felt guilty for calling him this kid. Really. I did. But if I let it slip out even a little bit that Peter was my kid, the media would be knocking each other over, stalking me and Jac and Peter. It was for the better if I just kept his identity on hiatus until the tour was over and I could give Jac whatever she needed and send her and Peter on their way. I heard the crowd go silent outside, and I knew that the show was almost starting.

"Shit, man. I got to go. Just watch him…please." I muttered, my guitar still slung around my body as I got into position on stage. "Where were you?" Spencer asked, taking his position behind the drums and gulping down some water. "Finding a babysitter." I grumbled. The curtain was still down, and I knew that the announcer was almost done announcing us. "Let's kick some ass." Brendon mouthed to us, turning around and turning back in enough time to face the audience.

"Hellooooooooooooooo, Vegas!" Brendon called out. Just by the sound of his voice, the crowd went wild. I smirked, this was going to be one kick ass shows. I seldomly got stage fright and when I did, it was surprisingly for smaller groups rather than the larger ones. "I have some news for ya'll, but you gotta be quite so you can hear." Brendon smirked. It was amazing how the crowd silenced in a matter of moments after Brendon said that.

"You guys better get out your cameras and document this because we are Panic! At The Disco, and this is the most kick ass show you will _ever _attend." He said, using the all too used line. The three of us rolled our eyes inwardly at the statement, but the crowd went wild. Figures. They didn't have to hear it at every show. Well, unless they were a groupie but hey, they were hearing it every show by _choice._

"This is the first song that we, as a band, ever wrote together. It's called 'Time To Dance.'" Brendon said, his hands wrapping around the microphone.

"_Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor_

_Just for the attention._

_Cause that's just ridiculously on._

_Well, she sure is gonna get it_

_Here's the setting_

_Fashion magazines line the walls now_

_The walls line the bullet holes." _Brendon was singing. I was getting into it, adding in my backup vocals wherever it was needed.

It was just before the chorus, and I was ready to _kick ass_. I felt something small come up next to me, looking up at me. At first I thought I had done something wrong to my amp, and it was just a sound guy crawling onto the stage to fix it. They did that a lot, I'd seen them do it. But then I realized as the chorus ended and I felt a tug at my shirt, I looked down to see him. Peter.

I froze. It was quite obvious that there was a little boy standing next to me, I just didn't know what to do. "Get off." I hissed to Peter before launching into my backround vocals. Apparently Peter was frozen, afraid at all the bright lights that were being shined down on us and since he was on stage, naturally, they'd be on him too. I tried to look around back stage, trying to get some body to come on and get him off.

Once the song was over, I felt my whole body tense up and I set my guitar down, hoisitng up Peter and running back stage and setting him down. "That was cool!" Peter gasped. "Can I do it again?! Can I go back out?" He asked, eyes lit up. I clenched my fists. I wasn't going to hurt him, I was just _pissed off. _I know that Jac had to raise him for christ's sake, but she could at least watch him while I was on stage.

I found Jac standing by the refreshment table for the band, chatting with one of the sound people. "Jac." I said, fists still clenched. "Yeah…I'll talk to you later. Nice meeting you." Jac's smile for the stanger disapeered as she turned around. "Peter!" She got down and wrapped her arms around the boy. "Where were you?!" She asked.

"The stage. With Daddy!" Peter was grinning. "Jac, what the fuck? Can't you keep a better eye out for him? I was on stage!" I hissed, hearing Brendon try to stall on stage. Jac raised her eyebrow. "You couldn't keep tabs on him for five minutes?" She asked. I let out a sarcastic laugh. "You bitch! I was on stage!" I said, turning around and walking back on stage, throwing my hands out in frusturation.

"Fuck you, Ryan!" Jac yelled at me. I turned around, full of rage, I gave her the finger before returning on stage and slinging my guitar back over me. Ugh, what had I gotten myself into?


	6. Chapter 6

The show was over, and we were licking ice creams from the Dairy Queen that we stopped at on our way out. "I still can't believe that she let him get on stage." I shook my head. Jac had claimed that she was exhausted after the show and had helped Peter take a shower, took a shower herself, and managed to make the group dinner before reading Peter a story and falling asleep.

"Dude, Ryan, don't stress about it." Brendon encouraged. "It's not like anyone noticed. I so had the crowd distracted." Brendon smirked. Right. So Brendon's idea of distracting was doing stupid imitations on stage. I swear to god, if he wasn't hot, then he couldn't keep anyone's distraction for more than thirty seconds unless he was singing. I sighed, taking the last bite of my ice cream cone and bringing my legs onto the couch, slinging them to the side.

We were on our way to Colorado now, for two shows. One in Boulder and one in Denver, and then we were going to hit a few other states before going South again. "Whatever." I shrugged. I wasn't one who wanted to freak out about stuff, and I never wanted any conflict in my life. Whoever said that life would be boring with out conflict was out of their fucking _minds._

"Dude, I think your phsyco girlfriend threw away all of the apple pie from Big Boy." Spencer gasped, the refrigerator open. I rolled my eyes, whatever Jac did, was not my fault. Except for Peter. I had been thinking, and I had come to the conclusion that I had no idea what I wanted. I wanted to be a part of Peter's life. I had to be. I loved Jac, and I had taken part in creating him, I should at least offer to help with the rest of his life.

I loved Jac. I knew I loved her, it just…it was so hard. I was starting to really fall for Brendon, too. You didn't really love your best friend and really love your ex-girlfriend at the same time. It just, it wasn't done. You could _claim_ you loved two people at once, but you couldn't really love two people at once. You just couldn't. To love someone, to truly love someone, meant to love them with all of your heart, to give them your heart.

I heard crying come from the bedroom, and I thought it might be Peter just whimpering in his sleep. I considered going to see what he needed, but I decided against it. But, my theory was proven wrong as Jac, shaking and pale, stood before me. Her bag was packed and her blond locks looked frizzy and untamed, eyeliner dripping down her cheeks. I rose to my feet, which was almost an instinct when I saw her crying

"Jac…what's the matter?" I asked. She was shaking, and I walked to her, wrapping my arms around her. I was scared, what could possibly have been wrong with her? She was whimpering into my shoulder, and I was cradling her in my arms, looking to my friends for help. They all shrugged as if to say, we don't know. I closed my eyes, hoping that she would actually tell me what's wrong with out me having to squeeze it out of her.

"My parents…they were in a car accident." She choked out. She had to be kidding, her parents. Mr. And Mrs. Vanek…I had known them almost my whole _life._ They had been like my second set of parents for the longest time. They had been supportive of me when my own parents weren't physically able to. I forgot about the fact that her bags were packed for a few moments and I cradled her in my arms. I had never had an actual parent die, but close to it. When my father made my life hell, it was like he was dead. No person was born that vicious and cruel, were they?

"You're leaving, then?" I asked, kissing her cheek softly. It left my lips tingling, since my lips hadn't been on her body in so long. She solemnly looked up into my eyes. "I won't be gone for long, Ryan. I promise. I just, I need to see them. They're in the hospital right now, and the doctor called and told me that he doesn't know for sure if…if they're going to make it or not." I watched in fear as her chocolate brown eyes glazed over with tears once more.

I went into an inward state of panic. She said she was leaving. I could call her out on a ploy, and see if this was just a reason for her to come, dump Peter on me, and leave as fast as she had come, only stopping to leave a kiss of death with me. She was going to leave me wanting more, was she? No. She had promised that she was going to come back. She had abused my trust before, but I had to trust me. I just had to.

I kissed her gently on the forehead, taking her hand in mine and asking the driver to stop at the Holiday Inn. I gave her $20 for a cab to the airport and smiled. "Take all the time you need. We'll be fine." I whispered, watching as she embraced me once more and stepped off. The driver pulled away, and I watched her walk in, not turning my head until the hotel was completely out of site.

As I sat, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the glass, searching around in my jeans for some pain killers I clamped my eyes shut. Shit. I really hope I just didn't tell Jac that I would watch Peter by myself for as long as she wanted to be away. Ha. Shit. Yes I did.


	7. Chapter 7

"Please explain to me why we're doing this." Brendon said, half-asleep as he trudged along side me. He was yawning, and Peter was getting quite a few giggles out the fact that Brendon was so disoriented. It was six in the morning, and the Whole Foods Market that Brendon and I were in was not really open, but I had begged the few workers that were there to open it just for us for a few minutes.

"Because. Jac wanted Peter to have an organic diet." I repeated, walking down the aisles and throwing in anything that had "Organic" on the label. "So?" Brendon asked, flashing me a look of disgust. "So…just because Jac's gone for a while doesn't mean that Peter should get off of that. I should respect her decisions." I nodded, feeling very proud of my decision.

Brendon rolled his eyes, picking up a jar from the cart. "I highly doubt that Peter's gonna want to spread organic _garlic_ on his whole wheat toast in the morning." He chuckled and I shot him a dirty look, taking the jar and setting it down on a rack. Brendon chuckled at my stupidness and I shot him a look. I didn't want to look stupid in front of Peter. I looked stupid to everyone on a daily basis and most people thought I was a fuck up. Peter would probably find that out, too. He probably had, for all I knew. But if I could let him form his own opinion, then I would.

We checked out finally, and as I saw the total of the purchase I flinched. I could feed all of us organically for a while and even send home the left overs with Jac. Oh well. Maybe I'd score brownie points for trying. "This!" Peter picked up a chocolate bar and I raised my eyebrows. "No, Peter. Mommy doesn't like it when you eat sugar." I shook my head.

I turned to look at him when he flashed me this helpless smile as if he was begging. "Please." He turned down his lower lip and I felt something click inside of me. God dammit. This kid was like, _hypnotizing_ me. I blinked, sighing. "Put it in." I sighed and Peter gleefully threw the candy bar to the cashier. "Uh oh." Brendon blinked, dropping his mouth into an 'O' shape. "Daddy's gonna get in trouble."

I rolled my eyes. "Not if Peter doesn't _tell_ Mommy, right?" I asked, turning to Peter as the bag boy began to load our bags into the cart. I paid with the credit card, flashing it, letting them swipe it and then sliding it back into the back pocket of my skinny jeans. "Right!" Peter agreed, nodding. Brendon shook his head, laughing. "He's _exactly_ like his father."

We got to the tour bus in the parking lot and the driver helped Brendon and I load the bags into the bus. "Wait…Ryan." Brendon said. I turned around, I had been putting the cart away and was about to head back to the tour bus to get on. "What?" I asked, looking to my friend. Brendon pressed his lips against mine for a hungry kiss.

He pulled away after a few moments of blissfulness. "What…what was that for?" I asked, looking up at Brendon. Brendon smirked, shrugging. "You looked like you needed it." He laughed and I stifled a laugh too. I thought I had had all of my feelings figured out. I was going to go for Jac. How could one kiss make me question everything that I had just tried to solve?

As I loaded the tour bus, I clamped my eyes shut and collapsed on the couch. In just a few short days my perfect life had turned into utter chaos. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.


	8. Chapter 8

Silence. I hated it more than anything in the entire world, but we had nothing to talk about. It was seven in the morning and we were in Colorado, with really nothing to do. Jac had left two nights ago now, and I have to say that the night that I played that show with out her there, I had never been so distracted. I messed up in "Camisado" and "Build God Then We'll Talk." And the worst part, during "Time To Dance", when Brendon did his line, "When I say shotgun you say wedding…shotgun." I was supposed to reply 'wedding', but I forgot. 

Thankfully, no one knew except for Brendon, Jon, Spencer, and I because the fans instantly replied to Brendon and saved me. Why was it that she was almost haunting me? She had stepped into my life, dumped more than I could handle on me, and then just picked up her stuff and left. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back and letting it fall against the window. I was exhausted, and today was our day off, I should be asleep by now.

"Ryan…are you okay?" I looked up to see all of my friends' eyes on me. I blinked, raising my eyebrow. "Uh…sure." I said, rubbing my forehead in frustration. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her. Every time I wasn't occupied on something, she came to my mind and even when I was, she came to mind. What was she doing to me? I highly doubt that she was controlling my thoughts but this…I was losing my mind.

"Listen, Ryan. You have to get out of here. You should take the kid out today or something." Brendon suggested. I raised my eyebrow, so Brendon had become a kid expert over night? Fantastic. Just another person to tell me what I was doing wrong. I felt irritable, but I didn't snap at him. "Oh really? And where do you suggest me taking him?" I questioned.

Brendon looked out the window, his face turning up into a smile. "The zoo?" He suggested. I sighed, the zoo. It seemed so fatherly, taking your son to the zoo. I didn't want to do it, but I knew that Brendon would haunt me about it for the rest of my life, or close to it, if I refused taking him. It seemed like the perfect idea to entertain Peter, and who knows, maybe get to know him. Despite the fact that I was basically allergic to every single animal known.

I shrugged. "Fine." I would have to take a huge allergy pill before we went. I knew that it would be a chain reaction. Animals allergy trigger sneezing and coughing attention getting mob of fans. Heh. Peter was paralyzed standing under the bright lights with people looking at him. I would probably really paralyze the kid if we got mobbed while I was out. I decided to take a shower, stripping off my clothes and jumping in and out.

I yawned, staring at my reflection in the mirror, my lower body wrapped in a towel. I still couldn't believe that I was a father. It was so unreal. I felt almost guilty, though. Jac had had to go through being pregnant alone. I didn't understand why she didn't just stay. I mean, would I have really made her stay on the tour bus with us? Yes. I would've. I was selfish, and I knew that at that time I probably wouldn't understand why just because my child was growing inside Jac's stomach that I had to leave the remainder of that tour.  
I dressed, realizing that I had spent so much time contemplating in the shower that it was already ten o'clock, and the tour bus had already been pulled over at the Hilton hotel that we were going to stay in during our two night stay in Colorado. I grabbed my phone and my wallet from the bus along with my bag of stuff that I needed for the two nights, walking into the hotel. I found the front desk, another yawn escaping my lips as I grabbed my own room key for the band suite.

"Would you like help with those bags, Mr. Ross?" The lady at the desk asked. I looked down at what I had in my hands, a small duffel bag, my wallet and my phone. Were these people insane? Oh right. Wait. I was a celebrity, apparently since my name was well known now, I had lost my ability to carry more than three ounces of something at a time. I shook my head no, and waited until I was safe in the elevator to laugh.

I unlocked the band suite, dropping my stuff on the table and turning to Brendon. "Where's Peter?" I asked. Jon shrugged, and I turned to Brendon, who was participating in a three-way video game tournament and he spazz-like pointed to another door and I opened it, finding myself in the bedroom. "Hey." I smiled, sitting down on his bed. He was piecing his way through a picture book, which looked to be some Dr. Seuss thing.

"Hi." Peter lazily responded, his voice not full of the same charisma that I had heard from before. "What's up?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Nothing." He responded, his voice not showing any inflection. Okay then. Awkward times. I tapped my fingers against my thighs, looking around the room and back at Peter, cracking a smile. "Wanna go to the zoo?"

"No thanks." He replied with a sigh, turning the page. Okay then. That definitely was not the response I was expecting to hear. "What do you want to do then?" I asked, not sure whether it was normal for a two year old to be looking through a Dr. Seuss book, and to find that more appealing than going to the zoo. I mean, I would kill to go to the zoo for anything when I was little, even if by going that meant that I had to sneeze and cough all the way.

Peter shrugged, and I thought. What would a boy his age want to do? I quickly had an idea come to mind and I smiled. "Come here." I said, taking the book out of his hands and hoisting him up, holding him in my arms. Peter was silent as I set him down in the middle of the video-game-mayhem. Brendon, Jon, and Spencer were taking turns laughing and yelling and going completely silent, game faces on. Peter gave me a quizzical look and I nodded as if to say, hold on.

I set Peter down and stood in front of the TV. "Guys, we have a new player in the Panic Video Street Team." I said, waving for Peter to come join me. They all had their jaws open, ready to scream at me to move, and then quickly stopped themselves, smiling. They knew what I was doing, and I nodded. "Peter Ross!" I said, instantly realizing that Peter might not have my last name. What if he was…Peter Vanek? Yuck. I liked Peter Ross much better.

The guys applauded, and Brendon gestured for him to come over. In the next twenty minutes, my friends and band mates educated Peter on all he needed to know about playing video games. "Ready, Ryan!" Brendon said, and I nodded, pressing play on the game. I watched in content as Peter got as into the game as Jon, Spencer, and Brendon were. I had never smiled this much. Why did it warm my heart to see this little boy, who I barely knew, laughing and smiling and having a good time?

I caught his eye just as he was high fiving Brendon, and I smiled, and he smiled back. I crossed my arms over my chest, a soft smile across my face, leaning against the dorm frame. I loved Peter. And although at first he seemed like a mistake to me, I was glad that he was in my life. I really was.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up, rolling over in the hotel bed and yawning. It was already around noon, and we were going to have only one more day of bliss relaxation before we were going to be heading out on the road again. I sat up, yawning and looking around me to see that Spencer and Peter, who I was sharing a room with, were already awake. I turned in the bed, stretching out my legs, closing my eyes for a few moments before standing up and walking over to the door and opening it.

I found myself in the living room, stretching out my arms and looking down at my ensemble. A pair of red checkered boxers, ruffled brown hair, and well, that was it. I looked up, at the site in front of me. It was weird not to hear the oh-so annoying sound of the beeping from video games…apparently no one was playing this morning. As I gained the ability to see straight, I looked at the scene in front of me.

Brendon, Spencer, and Jon were sitting on one side of the living room, squishing onto one couch and…Jac and some other guy were sitting on a couch on the other side, Peter on the floor. Jac?! What the fuck was she doing back? "Jac…" I said, blinking in disbelief. "What are you doing back?" I asked, my voice soft and quiet. Who was this guy?

"Oh well…my parents are fine, so I decided to come back." She said, blushing. She was blushing? _She _was scared? She had just showed up on surprise for a _second_ time with out even as much as one phone call to let me know that she was coming. And now, the second time, I would've been at least prepared to see her. But, no. I had to figure out who the fuck this mystery guy was.

"Err, come on guys. Let's show Andrew where the pool is." Brendon said, standing up and ushering Jon, Spencer, and Peter out of the room along with the mystery guy. I leaned against the wall, giving me easy access to look him over. He looked to be in his late teens or early twenties. He had sandy blond hair, and a scared expression on his face that put a smirk on my face.

Brendon shot me a 'good luck' face before closing the door. I sighed, closing my eyes. Once more, I had to say these all too familiar words. "Explain, Jac. And I don't want any of this shit, just tell me what the fuck is going on. I'm done playing guessing games, this is just getting _ridiculous._ You think that this is all fun and games? This is work, Jac. This is how I make my living, I don't know what makes you think that you can come in here and spring all of these things on me." I hissed.

Jac's face was pale, and I looked her over, my eyebrows furrowed. "What is there to explain, Ryan?" She asked. I took a deep breath, exhaling and trying to push out all of the anger inside of me. Wait a second---why was I even feeling this? I shouldn't be. I mean, I didn't know who this guy was. He could be Jac's cousin for all I knew. Not that I cared, if she was dating him, oh well. Oh fuck it, who was I kidding? I was jealous as fuck.

"Who—who is he?" I asked, looking into her eyes, trying not to stutter, but I couldn't help it. Silence. It hung in the air, thick and heavy. I waited for her reply, crossing my arms over my chest, still leaning against the door frame. She looked as shocked as a deer who got stuck in the road with head lights shone on it. I clenched my jaw in anger. I wasn't going to hurt her or something, but I just had so much anger, so much fright. I wanted to know what was going on, and getting answers from Jac was like trying to get a lion to jump through hoops by just saying 'jump!' Impossible.

"His name's Andrew," She explained, her voice caught me off guard. No way. She was actually going to tell me? I had expected to try and bribe her to tell me _at least _three more times. But, hey, who was complaining? I listened, sitting down across from her, not daring to sit next to her. It would just be too weird, and god knows if she started crying or something, I wouldn't know what to do. "He's my…my boyfriend, Ryan. I've been dating him since about three months after I left." She said.

No fucking way. My jaw would've dropped to the floor if it wasn't for the fact that my chin was resting on my palms. I didn't speak, I wanted her to finish what she was saying. "What?" I asked, the word accidentally slipping out. So now she was lying to me? I had thought that I was her only…she had told me that. She had told me straight to my face. "I thought I was your only…" I whispered, not sure what to make of all of this.

"Ryan, no!" She leaned forward in the couch. "You _are_ my only. I haven't slept with Andrew. I mean, I shouldn't have brought him here…" She whispered, her eyes traveling down to the floor. I sat straight up, not showing any emotion, like a cement wall, emotionless. "Like fuck you shouldn't." I hissed, my eyes narrowing.

"Ryan, please—" She started to speak but I didn't want to hear it. I shook my head. "Why are you even staying?" I asked. Silence, again. God fucking dammit. Everything that Jac touched turn to utter chaos. She wasn't making me happy, she wasn't doing me a favor by keeping her here. I loved Peter, I had grown almost attatched to him in the past few days. But, if by just getting Jac out of my life meant him leaving too, then god dammit, I'd want it.

I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to give us another shot. But I couldn't. She was draining me physically and emotionally and I couldn't be this torn up and try to please thousands of people a day at our concerts. "Because I love you." She finally whispered. I stared like a dipshit, just looking at her. It finally sunk in and I rose to my feet. "Fucking prove it then, Jac." I hissed, walking away and slamming my door.

I collapsed on the un made bed, staring up at the ceiling, closing my eyes. This had to be some kind of punishment. But for what, I wasn't sure.


	10. Chapter 10

"How'd it go last night?" Brendon asked as we looked around the hotel room, searching to see if we left anything behind. I shrugged, looking out the window to make sure that the tour bus hadn't left with out us. Good, still there. I shook my head, sighing. After finding out who Andrew really was, I had collapsed in bed and slept right through. Well I hadn't slept, really. I had laid in bed, staring off into space. I hadn't been disturbed when Peter came in to grab his Spiderman action figure or when Spencer came in to grab a bathing suit, I just kept on staring.

"Well, it couldn't have gone worse." I said, trying to make light of the subject. Brendon shook his head, grabbing the junk food wrappers that loitered the room and shoving them into the room's trash can, holding the door open for me. "Which means?" Brendon asked, following behind me as I pressed the elevator button, stepping in. Brendon followed in, leaning against the wall as I pressed the lobby button.

"Andrew's Jac's boyfriend." I simply stated, shrugging as if it was no big deal. Really it had been destroying me, making me insane. She had showed up, told me that I had a kid, disapeered, and came back with her boyfriend. She was really playing me, now. Just by seeing her smile, I could remember all of the times that I would've done practically anything to make her smile. All of the lonely nights, not knowing where she had gone, laying in bed and wishing that I could see her just one more time.

And now here she was, in the flesh. And instead of running into my arms and apologizing over and over that she had left, she had came back with a kid and a boyfriend. I had been so sure of her motives at first. She wanted money, is what I had thought. And then she had told me she had a kid, and that it was mine, and then it shifted over to that she wanted help. And then I had really thought that she came back to be mine again, but then she leaves and brings back her boyfriend? What was wrong with this girl?

"Dude, that's fucked up." Brendon shook his head and I rolled my eyes in agreement, walking out the lobby, waving at the lobby attendants to let them know that we were leaving. I walked out to the parking lot, getting on the bus and throwing my bag down on the seat. I searched my pocket for my phone, not feeling it in my pocket I grunted in exasparation. "Fuck. I have to get my phone." I grumbled.

"Hey, while you're out there tell Bitch and Ryan jr. to hurry up, we gotta get moving!" Jon called from the back of the bus as I got off, rolling my eyes. I saw my phone glinting in the parking lot and I raced to pick it up before it become electronic road kill. As I picked it up, my eyes caught a pair of kitten heels, which belonged to a pair of slender legs, which belonged to…Jac.

I stood up, brushing off my knees and blinking. Peter was in her arms and their bags next to her, with no site of Andrew. "Jac." I said, my voice emotionless. Peter was sleeping, his head resting against Jac's shoulder. "Hi, Ryan." She whispered. "Where's Andrew?" I asked, not giving her time to reel me in again. "I sent him home." She said, blinking, her lips curling into a small smile.

"Oh, so I guess then you'll be meeting him back there?" I asked, trying not to make my voice hopeful. No. No. No. She probably just wanted to get on the bus, finish the tour, and then take Peter and go back to Andrew, leaving me as quickly as she had came again. "No." Jac shook her head, a sigh escaping her lips. "I think that Andrew and I weren't really meant for a relationship." She said.

I rolled my eyes, in a desperate attempt to convince myself and her that I didn't care. I knew I did, though. I was almost jumping for fucking joy that she left him. I turned my back, my left foot just touching the first step. "Ryan?" She asked, I turned my head. Peter was awake now, a lazy, sleepy look on his face. "What?" I asked, surprised that I hadn't snapped at her. "Can we get on the bus?" She asked.

I sighed, a smirk appearing on my face. "Yeah, Jac. Come on." I said, turning around and helping her with her and Peter's bags.


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you sure you can watch him?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. There was a party for us tonight at some night club, and none of us wanted to miss it, but Peter sure as hell couldn't stay alone in the bus. The two groupies who had offered to watch him, Emily and Jen, nodded, smiles bright on their faces. "You bet, Mr. Ross!" Jen answered, giving me the thumbs up. Emily nodded in agreement and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh.

"You can call me Ryan, you know." I said, blushing. I was only nineteen, for christ's sake. And these girls were what, eighteen? That was sad. "Okay, well, we'll be back pretty late, then. You have our cells." I said, not believing that I could even talk like this. The girls nodded and I looked around the hotel room that we had booked for the girls to watch Peter in. This wasn't a good idea…I knew it.

I turned, looking at Jac and squeezing her hand. It was amazing what one night could do. We had spent the day on the bus tucked into the corner of the bedroom, giggling, remembering all the crazy times that they had spent together. They had spent the night in each other's arms, something that Ryan had longed for and wished for since the night he found out she was gone. He wasn't sure if they were together or not, but he didn't want to spoil it by asking.

We turned, walking to the bus stop that would take us to the club where the party was. I caught Jac's eye, smiling at her and she smiled back. I breathed in and out, stepping onto the bus. The whole bus ride we listened to the eager chatting of Spencer and Jon and Brendan, who were talking about what kind of people would be at the party. I rolled my eyes, knowing that tonight was really going to be fun. I could have fun, and get drunk, and not have to worry about anything.

When the bus stopped at the club we got out, Jac instantly seeing the crowds and clinging to me, her arm wrapping around my waist. I chuckled to myself. About two years ago Jac had been the one that loved these type of things. She was probably just a little out of practice. She'd get right back to being the old Jac after a few shots. There were screams from the people crowding the front of the club, and the club's security guards pushed them away as we entered the club.

A techno-like beat was pounding through the club, and I was smiling, turning to Jac. She still looked scared. I couldn't believe it, was Jac really scared of crowds now? Jac had practically longed for a crowd. "Wanna dance?" I asked, turning to Jac. She shook her head no and I sighed, trying to find the bar. We walked to the bar, and we waited till the bar tender was really busy to order our drinks. No ID necessary, perfect.

"Want a drink?" I asked. Jac shook her head no. I shrugged, leaning back and taking a swig of my vodka. In a few minutes, Jon and Spencer had disappeared, leaving Brendon, Jac and I there. I tapped my fingers against the bar, finishing off my second vodka. I turned to look at Jac and she had her phone to her ear. Seeing that I was looking at her, she covered the mouth piece. "I have to go out and take this, can you hold on a second?" She asked.

I nodded, feeling tipsy already. I got another vodka, taking another swig and looking at Brendon, my mind feeling like it was taking a trip to Wonderland and leaving me there. Brendon was drunk, giggling at Jac, as was I, as our eyes followed her trying to maneuver her way out of the crowd. "Why do you even like her?" Brendon slurred, his voice getting low and husky.

I shrugged, a drunken smile flashing across my face. We giggled more, and drank more, until the point that we were both unbearably drunk. "Come here." Brendon drunkenly giggled, holding out a lime slice. I rolled my eyes, even though I was drunk I knew this trick. I leaned in closer, smiling. "Now what?" I asked. "Bite it." Brendon replied, a smirk on his face. Drunk as fuck, I leaned in, my lips just meeting the lime when Brendon quickly pulled it away and pressed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, his tongue forcing it's way into my mouth. We were like that for about two minutes when I felt a presence coming from right behind me. I giggled, turning around and breaking the kiss. "Can I help—oh."

Jac.


	12. Chapter 12

I've never had a head ache this bad, I've never had a hang over this bad. I rolled over, my recollection of the past night was barely there. I knew that I had gotten drunk, and kissed Brendon, and Jac had seen and then the only sober one, Jon, had dragged us all home. But Jac? Where was Jac? I yawned, rolling over and seeing that I had been sleeping in the tour bus, we were back on the road? My suspicions were confirmed as I stood up, my already unstable body almost flew backwards at the rocking of the bus.

I found myself walking into the living room, expecting to see Jac and Peter along with my friends, but I only saw Jon, Spencer, and Brendon. "'Morning." I said, thinking that maybe Jac and Peter were still sleeping and I had just missed them or something. I opened the fridge, pulling out some leftover Chinise, dumping the fried rice onto a plate and popping it into the morning. Nutritional, fuck it.

When I didn't get a response, I turned, raising an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?" I asked, rubbing my head and as the food heated, grabbing some advil from the counter and popping it into my mouth, dryly swallowing the two pills. "Ryan, she left." I heard Spencer quietly say. I turned my head, rubbing the nape of my neck and squinting my eyes. "What the fuck do you mean she left?" I asked, my eyes opening wide, despite the fact that my head was pounding.

"Last night she saw you and Brendon kissing, and she left." Jon quietly said, as if he spoke the hurtful news any louder I might explode. "Well where the fuck is she?" I asked, running to the room and grabbing a pair of jeans, even though they were probably Spencer's and throwing them on. "She left for the airport about an hour ago." Jon replied. My eyes opened wide and I threw on a shirt, not bothering to turn it the right way even though it was backwards.

I closed my eyes. Peter. Jac. They hadn't been in my life for so long, and I didn't want them to escape again. I couldn't let them get away again. "Stop the bus!" I ran to the front of the bus and the bus driver looked at me, but I stayed right there till he pulled to the side of the high way. "How far is the air port from here?" I asked the driver, dialing a number for a taxi.

The driver shrugged and I closed my eyes, stepping out and calling a taxi. Once I reached the number, I took a deep breath. "Hi, I'm on the high way, right before exit 21…can I get a cab to pick me up here?" I asked, out of breath. I was so frantic, I couldn't feel myself breathe. All I heard was laughing on the other end and I let out a frusturated scream.

I scanned the high way, letting out a victory scream as I saw an airport taxi. Like a fool, I ran out and waved it down. "Are you out of your mind?" The driver asked, rolling down his window. I saw a group of young teenage girls stare at me from the back seat and I took a deep breath. "Yes I am, thanks." I said, opening the front door and jumping in. "Jesus fucking christ, that's Ryan Ross!" A girl from the back seat squealed.

"Uh, can I help you?" The confused driver asked. "Just…drive…to the airport, I'll pay." I begged, feeling so jumpy, that I was probably going to pee my pants once we started driving. Apparently the air port wasn't too far, the driver had told me that it was only about a half an hour drive between the girls in the back seat asking me for autographs and pictures.

When we got to the airport, I flicked five ten dollar bills at the driver. "It was only thirty bucks!" He screamed as I began running into the airport. "Keep the change!" I yelled back, running past the baggage claims and to the lobby. Where could she be going? Shit. I knew where she was going. I closed my eyes, remembering all the times that we had promised each other that we would go to this place when we were older. In the future. In the future. In the future. The only serious thing we had ever promised each other. Paris.

I didn't know for a fact that she'd be heading there, but I sure as fuck had to go on that. I looked up at the board of flights, seeing that the Paris flight was leaving in…ten minutes. I took a deep breath, finding myself in security. The lines were huge, and I saw no way of getting out. I didn't even have a ticket, for christ's sake!

"Excuse me?" I felt a stern tap at my back and I closed my eyes. The jig was up. Bye, Jac. Bye, Peter. I turned around to see two security officers, a man and a woman who had to be no younger than forty. "Uh, yes?" I asked. The female officer reached down to her pocket and I froze. What was she getting? Hand cuffs? A ticket? What?! She pulled out a pad of paper, a grin on her face.

"You're Ryan Ross, right?" The woman asked. "Yes." I answered, my voice wavering, eyeing the clock. Her eyes sparkled. "My daughter is such a big fan, would you mind signing an autograph?" She asked, her voice full of hope. I took a deep breath, relaxing. I quickly signed the autograph.

"Listen, I really have to get going." I said, after signing at least three autographs for each officer. "Oh, of course, Mr. Ross! What are you doing in this line? Go on!" The female officer ushered me along. "Thank you." I breathed in, picking up the pace and jogging to the gate for the Paris flight. I reached the lobby, and my heart sank into the floor. It was gone.

I was done. I couldn't do this anymore. Why was I being punished like this?! I ate my vegetables when I was younger…maybe this was just karma for doing all that stuff with Brendon. I wiped the sweat off my forehead. It was all a waste. I can't believe I jumped into a random taxi and snuck past airport security to get here, and she was gone.

"Ryan?"

It was her voice. I didn't answer or turn around. It was probably a fan, or just my mind playing a trick on me. "Ryan?" The voice got closer. I tried to resist turning around, but I eventually gave up. It was her. My heart skipped ten thousand beats it seemed like, just seeing her here. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been crying. Peter was walking next to her, his small hand in hers. "Jac. I thought…I thought you left." I said, my voice was quiet. A weak smile planted itself on her lips. "No, Ryan." She said quietly. "I couldn't leave you. Not again." She said. I walked closer to her, watching as she gently dropped Peter's hand.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, my eyes searching her's. "Jac…why? Why do you keep on coming back and disappearing?" I asked, my voice wavering. She shook her head, leaning her head against my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just…I was scared." She whispered. She looked up, looking into my eyes, her eyes searching mine.

"I love you, Jac." I whispered, my hand rubbing her back. "I love you too, Ryan." She whispered back. I took her face in my hands, pressing my lips against hers for a kiss that was very over due. Our lips met each other, my hands running down her sides. We broke away, a smile on each of our faces. I picked her up by the waist spinning around and watching as she laughed, her bell like laugh sending me into smiles.

Peter giggled at the site of us acting so immature. I took her in my arms once more, pressing her against me. "Be mine?" I asked, a smile on my face, kissing the side of her cheek.

"Forever and always, Ryan. Forever and always."


End file.
